


All I Need

by OnyxEmeralds



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:27:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28686360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnyxEmeralds/pseuds/OnyxEmeralds
Summary: Set when Prentiss runs away from the team to go after Doyle. What would have happened of Doyle found another way to get even. He doesn't kill her, but takes something that meant everything to her without her knowing. How will she cope with the aftermath of the Doyle incident. Kind of dark, but will have a happy ending.
Relationships: Emily Prentiss/Spencer Reid
Comments: 5
Kudos: 22





	1. I'm Fine

####  **Chapter 1: I’m Fine**

Emily Prentiss managed to sneak away from the round table and excuse herself to the restroom. She was feeling sick to her stomach, so she exited rather quickly. A lot was going on in her life at the moment. Doyle wanting to harm her family made things even more complicated. After emptying what little contents she had in her stomach, she composed herself and exited the stall. She made a mental note to actually take the pregnancy test that she had bought the day before. It was still sitting on the table by her font door. The flowers that someone managed to get into her home had reminded her just how much danger she and her family were in.

Just as she had gotten off of the phone with her former colleague Tsia, the door began to open. Emily hurried up and ended the call immediately. She dampened a paper towel and cleaned her face. Garcia walks in and sees this instantly. She startled the other woman when she approached her.

“Are you okay?” Penelope asks because she is truly worried about her friend. Emily seemed to have forgotten that nothing goes unnoticed by Penelope Garcia even though she wasn’t a profiler.

“Oh…Um yeah, I’m good” Emily replied quickly startled by Garcia’s entrance. She hoped that the other woman would leave it at that. Everyone reaching out to her and checking on her was making this even harder for Emily. First Reid, then Morgan, and now Garcia. It killed her to be cold and distant lately, but it was for everyone’s safety. She couldn’t live with herself if anything happened to her family because of her.

“I’m not a profiler, but you…” Emily had cut Garcia off before she could say anything else. That was exactly what she didn’t want to happen.

“Don’t start!” Prentiss snapped at her friend and instantly regretted it. “I’m sorry” She apologized hoping she wasn’t too harsh towards Garcia. “I’m gonna be alright.” Emily assured her friend knowing damn well that it was a lie. Emily was not okay, she had an enemy threatening her family and personal matters that she may have to address as well. Garcia sighed in relief at hearing this.

“Okay. I’m just really worried about you, the flu is going around.” Garcia stuttered still surprised at Emily’s outburst. Then it dawned on her, Emily’s mood swings and being sick could mean something else. “Are you preggs?” She asked. Emily was taken aback by Garcia’s intrusive question.

“No, no I’m just not sleeping.” Emily explained to Penelope hoping that she would back down. It wasn’t a complete lie, she really wasn’t sleeping. It killed her to become like this towards her friends who have become her family. What killed her even more was having to distance herself from Spencer Reid, who she has grown to love dearly over the years that they have worked together. Just the thought of Doyle killing her lover kept her awake at night in the form of nightmares.

Garcia lingered around for a few more seconds before leaving. Much to Emily’s relief, she was alone in the restroom again. Once she was absolutely sure she was the only one in there, she broke down crying. She gave herself five minutes or so to let it all out. Knowing that it may be the last time that she sees her family had taken its toll on her. As much as she was dreading it, she knew what she now had to do. Another thought had crossed her mind as well, and it reminded her of the last time she and Reid spent time together outside of work. She continued to let the tears fall. As much as Emily yearned to become a mother, she hoped that the test would be negative.

Once Emily Prentiss composed herself and gathered the courage to do what she needed to do, she left the restroom. Fortunately for her, the team was still gathered around the round table. She was also relieved that no one asked her if she was okay. If someone else were to approach her and ask if she was okay, Emily knew she would break down. As they continued going over the case Emily looked at each one of her friends and was mentally preparing herself to tell them goodbye without actually saying goodbye.


	2. Reminiscing Good Times

####  **Chapter 2: Reminiscing Good Times**

They were still at the round table going over the case when she rejoined them. Everyone but Emily was focused on the case being presented to them. She was busy trying to think about the good memories she shared with the team. She didn’t want her last memory of them to be everyone looking at grim images of the victims that her enemy had killed to try and get to her. One particular memory kept replaying in her mind and it made her smile. Emily hurried up and stole another glance at Reid before looking back at the screen pretending to focus. She finally had all that she needed, a caring family and someone who truly loved her as she was.

The thought of her having all that she needed in life made her happy. Sadly, all of that was going to be taken away from her. As content as she was, she couldn’t put her loved ones in harms way. Emily figured the best way to go was to reminisce on the good times she had with her team that became her family. That was when her thoughts drifted to the evening in January spent with Spencer Reid.

**Earlier in January ******

****

********

_The new year had started off great for the team. New Years was one of the very few holidays that they got to enjoy without being called in for a case. Very rarely did that ever happen. They all rang in the new year at Rossi’s. That was also the first time that Emily and Reid shared a kiss in front of others._

_Nine days later there was terrible weather coming their way. They were about to head home for the day. Emily had offered Reid to go back with her. She didn’t want him hopping on and off of the metro with all of this wind and extreme cold coming. He accepted her offer after some coaxing._

_“Spense, how about you ride back with me to wait out this snowstorm. I would hate for you to get caught in it getting back to your apartment.” Emily had asked as she was gathering her belongings to leave for the evening. Even though they had been seeing each other and going out on dates he still wanted to give her space. He let her know that too. It saddened her that he felt like he bothered her. In fact, she felt the opposite about him. His presence was always welcomed._

_“Em, you don’t have to do that.” He answered back, but she wasn’t having it. “I don’t want to intrude.” He added but it was pointless._

_“You aren’t intruding, and you don’t bother me, Spense.” She reminded him that she was the one that invited him to stay with her. “I want you around more often.” She stated hoping he would get the point. He agreed to wait out the storm at her place with her. They ordered Mexican food to pick up on their way back to Emily’s place._

_They picked up their dinner and headed to Emily’s apartment. Once inside they sat down and enjoyed a nice meal together. Before they settled down to watch some shows, they checked the weather. There was indeed a snowstorm coming their way. While that wasn’t necessarily a good thing, Emily knew that it would give her and Spencer some uninterrupted quality time together._

_She had grabbed a large blanket and threw it over both of them. Reid took the hint immediately and pulled her close to him to cuddle. They stayed like that enjoying being close to each other. Neither of them wanted this to end. Emily didn’t remember who went in for the first kiss, but she sure went with it. She knew where this was about to go, and she was okay with that. It had been years since she was truly intimate with anyone, especially someone that she loved. She wasn’t a virgin, but she wasn’t experienced like everyone assumed she was. After her traumatic experience as a teen, she never sought out loveless relationships. Even when she was undercover, she never let Doyle touch her in that way. He would try, but she wouldn’t budge which prompted him to propose._

_Reid was nervous about Emily’s advances. They weren’t unwelcomed, he was just really nervous about what was going to happen. What if she found out that this was his first time, and he had no experience? He hoped that she wouldn’t leave him after finding out. This was the first time a woman had actually wanted him. He didn’t have enough time to ponder the fear because she was tugging at his shirt._

_“Are you sure you want to” He mumbled causing her to pause for a moment. “with me?” He added and that is when she understood what he was trying to say. She assured him that she did. Emily Prentiss wasn’t one of casual sex. She wanted to be with someone that she loved and trusted. Spencer Reid was this person. She trusted him with her life, and she knew he trusted her with his. They had been close friends for five years and realized that they were more than friends recently._

_“Spense, I want you to make love to me.” She professed her love for him that instant and meant every word. She wanted to express their love in closest way they could. Any fears that he may have had were completely gone now. After hearing what she had told him, he threw the blanket covering them aside. He picked her up off of the couch and carried her to the bedroom. They made love for the first time and basked in the afterglow of expressing their love for each other._

**Present Day: ******

****

********

Garcia had finished going over the details of the case. Emily had already known who was behind it. She also knew that she was Doyle’s endgame. He told her so days earlier when he revealed that he knew details about her team. He also mentioned that the others assumed she would have been on the train with Reid rather than meeting him. He made a comment about her lover and that was when she threatened to end him. When she asked what he wanted he said her, but not right away. She knew he was going to strike but didn’t know when.

To keep her family safe, Emily did not mention this meeting with any of the team. She knew a lot about Ian Doyle that the rest of the team did not. She wanted to keep it that way until she found him herself. She wasn’t going to let him harm anyone else. She knew they were eventually going to locate him, but she wanted to be ten steps ahead so that she could keep them safe.

Prentiss had made up her mind. This day would be the last day with her family. Also, the last day she would see her lover. It broke her heart that it had to come down to this. She knew the likelihood of her coming back from this were slim. She knew that Doyle would attempt to kill her since she didn’t have anyone for him to take from her. He also knew that she would do everything that she could to keep her team out of this. She was willing to accept her fate if it meant that those that she loved and cared for were safe. She wasn’t giving up though she was going to try her damned hardest to take him down. This was why she was distancing herself from everyone. She wanted her last memories with her family to be good ones, not them worrying about her.


	3. Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meant to put this in an earlier chapter. For this story Emily is a few years younger.

####  **Chapter 3: Goodbye**

Emily was gathering her belongings to leave the bullpen for the last time. As she was doing so, she looked at her team members who have become her family over the past five years one more time. The usually strong agent was trying her damned hardest not to breakdown in the middle of the bullpen. The second she looked at Reid the tears started falling. She quietly made her way out of the doors when they were going over the case hoping that no one had noticed.

“Goodbye” She whispered as she made her way out of the door of the BAU.

Emily had some things to take care of at her apartment before she disappeared to find leads on Doyle. She was in deep thought the entire drive home. She had to get things out of her safe that may help her find him. The agent had things to get rid of that reminded her of that god-awful assignment. Also, Emily needed to know once and for all if she was potentially putting another innocent life at risk. She knew the chances were very slim, but still there. She had finished her third bottle of water before she even made it home.

As she was walking into her home, she grabs for her gun. The woman had been very cautious entering her own home after finding that flower on the table by the door in her home. Emily checked her apartment thoroughly to make sure she was the only one there. Once she was sure that it was safe, she went about her business.

First, she went into her bedroom to get some things out of her safe. After punching in the combination, the safe had unlocked. Prentiss knew that everything would still be there, but she still checked anyway. She knew that someone had entered her home and didn’t want to take any chances of missing something important being stolen. She grabbed a folder that had useful information that she had gathered from when she went undercover on the assignment for the CIA.

That folder was important for two reasons. One was that it had information and old contacts that could help her hunt down Doyle. Two, it contained information that Doyle would stop at nothing to get his hands on if he knew what it was on. His son was indeed still alive. While on her assignment, Emily had grown to love the child. When Doyle was caught, she feared for the innocent child’s life. She had faked his death and hid him in order to save him. Even though she hated the idea, she could use Declan Doyle as leverage if she had to.

She put the folder in the bag that she was bringing with her. She was packing light for this mission. She placed the bag on her bed and quickly made her way to the bathroom. She grabbed the box with the tests in it and locked herself in there even though she was the only one there. She sat there crying with the test in her hands for a few minutes before taking them. As much as she wanted this, she hoped that she wasn’t actually pregnant. She grabbed the second one and took both tests. Both tests were placed on the counter while she waited for the result. Before the time was up, she was startled by a noise in the apartment that wasn’t her cat.

She quickly composed herself and ran out of the bathroom completely forgetting about the pregnancy test results. She immediately grabs her gun and her bag containing the important information. She kept her gun out and ready as she exited her home in fear for her life. She locked the door and quickly got into her vehicle. She drove off to a safe place to go over possible leads to find Doyle.

Unknown to Emily, there actually was someone in the house with her when she was there. She knew that Ian Doyle had eyes and ears on her and her team, but she was doing everything that she could to keep them and herself safe. What she didn’t know was that one of Doyle’s men now had some valuable information to give him. He was hiding in the apartment before Emily had even walked in. After she ran out of the apartment, he searched her bedroom and bathroom to see if she left anything useful behind. While searching the bedroom, he found nothing of use. She had taken all of the useful contents out of the safe with her. When he went to check the bathroom that she hurriedly vacated, he struck gold. The intruder called Ian Doyle instantly.

“She’s pregnant.” The man told Doyle who had answered the phone immediately. He didn’t get the chance to capture her and get her to Doyle, but he still gave the man a valuable piece of information. 

“Good to know.” Doyle’s sinister laugh came through the other end of the receiver. This changed his plan completely. “This changes everything.” He added as he thanked his partner and hung up.

Emily was now in Boston where he was supposedly at now. She stopped at small coffee shop on the way to where she was going. She stayed in there looking over her information for a little but while consuming a small coffee. As she was doing so, she remembered Jack Fahey the man who introduced her to Doyle. This was when she first became Lauren Reynolds. She knew that she could get information out of him. After coming up with a plan she left to track down Fahey.

After getting what she needed out of him she now waited in her car in front of the Irish pub. While waiting she checked all of the calls that she had let go to voicemail. Her phone started ringing and she let that call go to voicemail las well. After it stopped, she listened to it. It was Garcia begging her to come back home. She also told Emily that if she couldn’t, that they would find her and come rescue her. What touched Emily the most was when Garcia referred to her as family and said that she and the team were in her corner no matter what. 

Emily broke down crying again before the voicemail even ended. Of course, Garcia would try her other number. She wanted nothing more than to answer, but then that would put her family in grave danger. If she answered they may be able to track her, and that was the last thing that she wanted. “I’m sorry” She cried to herself as the voicemail ended. She knew that they would eventually figure out that she was in Boston. She just didn’t want them running into an ambush. Emily watched the people leaving the pub from her vehicle. She noticed a few suspicious men walking out and to an SUV. That was her sign. Emily got out of her vehicle and made her way towards them. She held up her gun and started firing.

“I only want Doyle.” She stated as she lowered the gun. “Where’s Doyle!” She demanded. She was shocked when she heard that familiar voice that she never wished to hear again.

“Right here, love.” Ian Doyle replied as he knocked her out. She could barely hear him telling the other men not to shoot at her as she was fading. He had other plans now. He was going to hurt her like she did him, but she didn’t know it yet.


	4. Captured

####  **Chapter 4: Captured**

Emily woke up she realized that she had been captured by Doyle himself. When she came around from being knocked out, she tried to get up, and this was when she realized that she was tied to the chair. Her legs were tied to the front legs of the chair ad her arms behind. Fortunately, she was alone in the room, but knew that they would be coming soon. She took this time to put herself in a good place mentally, knowing what was to come. Thoughts of her family and lover took her away from the horrible reality of what was about to happen.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard footsteps and felt unwelcomed hands on her shoulders. She knew who was standing behind her and it sent chills down her spine. Emily Prentiss was terrified, but she was not going to let that show now.

“Where’s my ring?” Doyle asked as he looked down at her. She knew exactly what ring he was talking about. She had kept it as a token for her major assignment being successful. When she was informed that he broke out of prison and was coming for them, she hated everything about that damned ring. Doyle had thought giving her the ring would let him go further with her. To him it first symbolized love. Not for him it symbolized betrayal because she never loved him to begin with, she played him to get him caught. 

“I flushed it.” She answered back reminding him why he wanted to meet with her again. He reminded her that because of that ring he spent seven years locked up in hell. Emily Prentiss had nothing to say to that. She did not love him, and she didn’t regret leading him on to aid in his capture. Suddenly his hands were under her blouse. The feel of his hands on her bare skin made her shudder. Her heart sank when she realized what was about to happen. 

“I’m going to give you another gift.” He made his intentions known. He started unbuttoning her blouse. Emily was trying to imagine herself anywhere but where she was now. “One you will not get rid of so easily this time.” He added as he walked off to get something. He rolled a nasty looking machine over towards her. “I think a four-leafed clover should make a nice addition to your other tattoos.” He powered up the machine. She took a deep breath and tried to prepare herself for what was coming. “You still have two, right?” He asked her already knowing the answer to that. He mentioned it just to get under her skin.

“Yep, and that’s enough ink. Thanks.” Prentiss replied dryly as he got closer to her. He informed her that they couldn’t afford ink back in North Korea, and that they branded rather than tattooed. He smiled at the panicked look on her face. He grabbed her from behind with one hand to hold her as still as he could. The brand was in his other hand. Emily tried to move away but her efforts were to no avail. She screamed in agony as the red-hot metal touched her bare skin.

Ian Doyle did not hear one of his men entering the room. He was busy taking his time with her. What he also failed to notice was that all of the thrashing around had caused Emily’s restraints to loosen. He was seriously trying to drag out the process to make her pay for what she had done him. He wanted her to remember that every time she looked at it.

“Sir, I hate to interrupt, but the FBI got ahold of Fahey. They managed to get some information out of him before taking him into custody though.” The man informed his boss. Doyle was livid. Now he didn’t have time to do what he wanted with Emily. He finished the design and put the brand down, but Emily’s relief was short lived. He slammed the chair to the floor with her still in it.

“What is your team doing here!” He yelled as his foot made contact with her middle. She yelped as he did it again. Since he didn’t have the time to complete his plan, he was hoping to let her find out on her own. Prentiss managed to free one of her legs from the restraints on the chair. She attempted to use her free leg to shield herself from another blow. 

“Do whatever you want to me. Just leave them out of it.” She managed to choke out before he hit her again. Emily continued her attempt to free herself from the chair despite the pain. After hearing the news about Fahey, she knew they were close. She just had to hold on a little bit longer.

“I wasn’t the one who dragged them into this.” He sneered as he went at her again.

“What is this a warm-up?” She asked hoping to taunt him and distract him a little longer. He responded by causing her to flip over with the chair. She knew that he needed her alive, otherwise she would have been gone already. Doyle was about to say something but was interrupted by the other man again.

“Sir, you don’t have long. They breached the building. I don’t know how much longer the guys can hold them off.” The man warned his boss. Doyle needed to hurry up, so he had time to get away. He dismissed his henchman by sending him off to help the others keep the team out. He wanted to see the look on Emily’s face when she realized what he took from her, but now he didn’t have the time. He was going to make sure that he was successful though.

“You took something that meant everything to me.” He said as he stopped down to her level and got in her face. “Now I’m going to do the same to you.” He added. She spat at him. She didn’t think that he would successfully be able to take down her team. He may have known about her and Reid, but he was safe with the team. Little did she know that’s not what he was referring to.

“I didn’t kill Declan.” She admitted as she was trying to free her hands from the overturned chair. She was successful this time. She worked through the pain to stand up. “He’s alive?” He asked not believing what she had just told him. He thought she was using this to distract him. Emily nodded in response. She wasn’t about to tell him where the child was thought.

“I hid him so that they wouldn’t kill him.” She admitted that he didn’t deserve to die just because of who his father was. “I also hid him so he wouldn’t end up like his father.” She added. She went for his neck before he could get ahold of her. She tried to cut off his air supply. Doyle did manage to get the upper hand in the battle though.

“I will find my son!” He yelled as he slammed her up against a wall and punched her in the stomach. She doubled over in pain and curled up on the ground. She was already trying to get up to fight back. The other man ran back into the room with them to warn Doyle that they were very close now.

“Sir, you have to go now!” The man said as he motioned for Doyle to follow him. Emily came around just as Doyle was about to run off. He was making sure that he left no trail. 

“My team will find you before you ever find him.” She promised as she tried to get up. He heard them coming for her. Ian Doyle vanished before they found Emily.


	5. I'm Alright

####  **Chapter 5: I’m Alright**

After a few attempts Emily managed to sit up. She sat there a few minutes before attempting to actually stand up. Emily ached all over, but she was still alive. When she left without telling anyone, she didn’t think she was ever coming back. She was brought back to reality when she heard familiar voices calling out for her.

“Emily!” Reid called out as he was getting closer to where she was. He insisted on going with Morgan. They split up to cover more area when they heard running in the distance. Derek of course, followed the guys running hoping to catch them. Reid on the other hand only cared about one thing, finding Emily. He went off to see if he could find where they were keeping her.

“I’m in here, Spense!” Prentiss yelled back hoping he heard her. She heard footsteps coming towards where she was, but she knew it wasn’t Doyle or his men. They managed to get away before the team could check the entire place. She was about to call out to him again when he walked in. 

“Oh my god, Emily!” He ran over to her immediately. She put her arms out for him to help her up. She then embraced him in a hug. Emily thought she was never going to get the chance to do that again. He pulled her close and held her tight like she might disappear if he let her go. He had feared the worst when he and Morgan got into the building.

“Spense, I didn’t think I would ever see you again.” She cried happy tears as they made their way out. He told her how heartbroken he was when they discovered her phone, badge, and gun still in her desk drawer at the office. Spencer explained how he held on to hope that she would be alright and here she was now.

“I found her!” Reid called out to Morgan who had just finished searching the area. He informed them that Doyle got away. Emily already knew that he had escaped. She was just grateful to be alive. She knew he wasn’t done with her though and wondered what he still had in store for her since he let her live. 

“Prentiss,” Morgan ran over to her. “are you okay?” He asked as he hugged his friend. She nodded in response. He still felt guilty for going off on her earlier. She ran to protect her family because she cared about them.

“I’m walking out of here, aren’t I.” She quipped back as they made their way out. She didn’t mention the clover that Doyle branded her with. They would find out soon enough when she would be forced to have the paramedics look her over and in the reports. Emily knew that they weren’t going to just let her go back without being checked out, especially after this. Morgan sent Reid and Prentiss out while he searched around the front to see if he could find them. Emily tried to tell him that they were long gone, but he refused to believe that they just disappeared without a trace that quickly.

“Reid, you and Prentiss go ahead. The rest of the team is outside waiting.” Morgan instructed them to go on without him. He promised that he wouldn’t be long. “Hotch said the paramedics are out there waiting as well.” He added as they parted ways at the door.

“Thank goodness you are okay.” Hotch sighed as Prentiss and Reid met up with the rest of the team. Everyone was relieved when they saw Reid approaching them with Prentiss. They too, feared the worst about the outcome of this case. Hotch noticed that Morgan wasn’t with them. “Where’s Morgan?” He asked looking around to see if he was behind them. 

“Morgan insisted on seeing if he could find Doyle and his men.” Reid reluctantly replied to Hotch’s question. None of them were really surprised about this. Derek Morgan felt guilty about how he had treated Emily ever since he found out the true reason why she ran from them. She was only trying to protect them, and he wished he could take back the things that he told her.

“I tried to tell him that he wouldn’t find them here.” Emily explained how Doyle managed to get away. No one liked the fact that he was still out there. What if he tried to go after Emily again? Emily had thought about that too because she still had information that he needed.

“You aren’t running again.” Spencer stated for himself and the rest of the team. He didn’t want to lose her again, none of them did. She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze letting him know that she wasn’t going anywhere. She couldn’t imagine how hard Spencer took it when they figured out that she ran.

“We will help you bring him down if you let us.” Rossi promised her that they would do everything to bring Ian Doyle down. Everyone agreed. Everyone looked back when they heard Derek Morgan storming out of the building.

“He got away!” Morgan yelled angrily. He was mad at himself for not being able to catch the guy that did this to Prentiss.

“We know.” JJ replied trying to comfort him as well.

“Emily, I promise you we will catch that son of a bitch.” Morgan vowed to find the guy that hurt Emily. She hugged him and thanked him. She also reminded him that it wasn’t his fault that they got away. Hotch took the opportunity to ask if Reid and Morgan were okay, which they were. He then looked at Prentiss and pointed to the ambulance where the paramedics were waiting.

“Prentiss, you know the drill.” Hotch stated earning a glare from Emily. She knew she didn’t have a choice in the matter, but still tried to protest anyway. She figured they would clean and bandage the clover branded on her and tell her to take it easy.

“Do I have to?” Emily protested only to be told she had to go get check out. Hotch just pointed to the ambulance.

“It’s either that or we’re going to drag you to the emergency room.” Hotch responded knowing that would put an end to the situation. She sighed and reluctantly agreed to go because she knew that her boss was not joking. Reid offered to go with her, and he was shocked when she took him up on the offer. The two of them walked off to the ambulance.

“She’s so stubborn. She could be bleeding and have a broken bone or two and would still insist she’s fine.” Rossi commented after she and Reid had walked away. They knew she was dedicated, and that she didn’t want to be seen as weak.

Spencer stayed by Emily as they were looking her over. Spencer Reid was not prepared for what he just saw. Ian Doyle had burned a design into her perfect porcelain skin. It made him sick to think about how she got it. She caught him staring at it.

“A nice little token to remember this case.” She stated in a sarcastic tone trying to mask how she truly felt about it. Emily felt disgusting like she was now Doyle’s property that he can do what he pleases with. Spencer knew better than to fall for it. He didn’t have to say anything to her, he just put a reassuring arm around her shoulders. Emily instantly knew he was there for her no matter what. She knew that she could talk to him about anything and knew that he would never judge or think lass of her for it either. She’d do the same for him and had done so on occasions.

“I’m always here for you, Emily. I’m not going anywhere.” He promised that nothing would ever make him feel differently about her. She pulled him close while they cleaned and bandaged her branding. He stayed with her the entire time. They made sure that she didn’t have any broken bones and recommended that she just take it easy for the next few days or so.

“You are okay to go. Nothing seems to be broken.” The paramedic informed her. They also told her don’t hesitate to go to the emergency room if she started feeling severe unbearable pain. When they were looking her over, she winced when they touched a few areas. Emily hurt all over, but the pain was tolerable. She knew that her injuries would heal and was thankful to be alive. “If you are feeling severe pain in any area please go to the hospital. You may have some internal bruises or internal bleeding.” One of the paramedics warned her that internal bleeding was something serious that shouldn’t be taken lightly or ignored.

“Is she good to go now?” Reid asked knowing how much she wanted to get out of the back of the ambulance and go. They were going to meet the team at a motel that Hotch managed to book rooms for everyone at the last minute.

“Agent Prentiss is okay to leave now.” The paramedic answered back. They also explained the procedure to care for her bandages and stressed that she should take it easy. They also warned him about the possibility of her having internal bruises and bleeding.

“Ready to go to the motel?” Spencer asked his lover already knowing what her answer would be. He knew she didn’t want to be here in the first place, but knew it was necessary. He was thankful that it was Hotch that pushed her to go.

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” Emily spoke her mind as he helped her sit up and get out of the back of the ambulance. Normally Emily Prentiss would snap, says she’s fine, and insist she could do things on her own, but since it was Spencer, she welcomed the help. With him she let her guard down and let him see that she was vulnerable. They made their way back to the SUV and they were off to join the others at the motel.


	6. I Don't Want to be Alone Right Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up this chapter deals with miscarriage.

####  **Chapter 6: I Don’t Want to be Alone Right Now**

They made it to the motel and walked up to the front desk to get their keys. Hotch was lucky enough to get everyone their own room for the night. Emily and Reid made their way to their rooms. Their rooms were right across from one another. For the two of them, that was a good thing. They wished each other a good night before going their separate ways.

Emily opened her go bag and got out her comfortable clothes to sleep in. After changing, she sat on the bed with her book in hand. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t take her mind off of the events that had occurred recently. What scared her the most was that Doyle was still out there. She feared for her family and herself. She remembered him telling her that he was going to take something that meant everything to her. Trembling, she got up and made her way across the hall and knocked on the door.

“Emily,” Spencer said as he opened the door. He motioned for her to come in. She apologized for disturbing him, which he insisted that she didn’t. “What brings you here? You couldn’t sleep either?” He asked as she walked in and closed the door behind them.

“I don’t want to be alone right now.” She admitted as she sat down on the couch next to him. She felt a dull ache in her abdomen but thought nothing of it at the moment. Reid put an arm around her bringing her closer to him. She buried her head into his shoulder and just stayed like that for a few minutes before looking up at him.

“If you want to talk about it, I’m here.” He looked down into her eyes. She looked up into his and nodded. Emily felt safe with him, so she decided to open up to him.

“Spense, I’m scared.” Her voice trembled as she tried not to break down in front of him. He didn’t even have to ask why because he already knew. Reid knew that Ian Doyle was still out there, and what he was capable of.

“He won’t come near you ever again.” He promised her. “I won’t let him.” He added. Emily knew he meant it too. Spencer Reid was much tougher than most people thought, especially when it came to protecting those he loves. He would do anything to make sure Emily was out of harm’s way.

“I don’t want him to hurt you to get back at me.” Emily made known that it wasn’t just her life that was in danger. She couldn’t hold it back any longer and broke down. She apologized for him having to see her like that.

“Em, look at me.” He said getting her attention. She looked at him with tears falling. “You don’t need to apologize for this.” He told her as he wiped her tears away. He knew that she was still in shock from what had happened.

“I can’t lose you.” She told him how much he meant to her. Spencer placed a gently kiss on her forehead and just held her as she calmed down. 

“You won’t.” He promised her that they would get through this together. He yawned and pointed towards the bed. “How about we try to get a good night’s sleep.” He suggested as he got up from the couch. He crawled in bed and waited for Emily to join him.

It didn’t take them long to fall asleep. Sleep for Emily, however, was short lived. The abdominal pain that she was experiencing earlier had not gone away. She figured it was just cramps and she was about to get her period. She tried her hardest to fall back asleep. It was an unsuccessful attempt because her abdominal pain started to intensify. Emily rolled over on her side and curled up into the fetal position with her arms around her abdomen hoping to ease the pain.

Spencer woke up to a feint noise coming from right next to him. He turned on the lamp on the nightstand next to him and looked around. His heart sank when he realized that the whimper like sounds were coming from Emily. At first he thought she was having a nightmare, but that wasn’t the case at all.

“Emily, what’s wrong?” Spencer asked as he sat up in the bed.

“It’s nothing, I’m fine, it will go away.” She snapped at him before she winced in pain. He knew better than to believe that.

“Emily.” He replied hoping that she would stop being stubborn and tell him what was causing her discomfort. It was obvious that she was in pain. Emily hated when people saw her like this, even her lover.

“Don’t Emily me.” She snapped as she wrapped her arms around her abdomen and clenched her jaw to stop herself from making a sound. Reid noticed the beads of sweat dotting her forehead and that she was paler than usual. Emily regretted snapping at him and apologized “I’m sorry.” She apologized as she took a deep breath to try and breathe through the pain.

“What are you expecting to go away?” He asked calmly hoping he didn’t upset her more. He knew that she didn’t mean to snap at him, so he brushed it off. Finding out what was wrong with her was way more important to him. Spencer remembered the paramedic telling him, and also Emily herself, that she could potentially have internal bleeding. The thought of that terrified him.

“Abdominal pain. It feels like really, really bad cramps.” She whimpered as she tried to curl tighter around herself. Usually Reid would blush and walk away at the mention of female problems, but he had a gut feeling that this was something serious.

“Em, get dressed. We’re going to the hospital.” Reid urged her to get out of bed. He gave her a pair of his sweatpants since they were right there. It hurt for her to stand up as well. Emily knew most of the pain was from the nasty beating and torture from Doyle.

“Spense, I’m fi…” She was about to protest but winced in pain. Reid wasn’t about to take no for an answer.

“Em, the paramedics said that the beating and torture could have possibly caused internal bleeding.” He countered her protest. She hadn’t argued with him about it yet. It was now his turn to let her know how much she meant to him. “I can’t lose you.” He hoped that she would go now. If Spencer couldn’t convince her to go, he would have to get Hotch to force her to go.

She only agreed to go because it was Spencer asking her to go. He was the only one that could convince Emily Prentiss to change her mind once it was made up. She ended up needing something out of her room, so he offered to go get it for her. He grabbed her bag with her belongings just in case it was needed.

“Please promise me you won’t call the team unless it’s a life-or-death diagnosis.” She bargained with him. He agreed not to call them unless it was something serious. He knew she was close to all of them, but he respected her wishes. She would have done the same thing for him.

“Of course.” He answered back as he helped her into the SUV. Her pain was intensifying as they spoke. He was driving as fast as he could without getting pulled over.

Once there, they took Emily to the back rather quickly because Reid mentioned she was an FBI agent injured in the field. They told Reid that only a significant other or family member was allowed back with her. He told them that they were together, and Emily vouched for him. Even if they weren’t actually together, Emily still would have done the same, especially after what she just went through. She didn’t want to be alone. Emily wanted the pain to go away.

After she was settled in and changed into a gown, a nurse came in and took her vitals. Then after that she started asking Emily questions about her symptoms. A doctor came in and an ultrasound was done to confirm what they thought was causing Emily’s pain. Reid held her hand through it all.

“Agent Prentiss, did you know that you were pregnant?” The doctor asked. Emily shook her head, she couldn’t believe it. She actually was pregnant and didn’t know it.

“My cycles have been irregular for a while now. I guess I didn’t think anything of it. I’ve been stressed lately too.” She said calmly. “I honestly thought I was about to get my period.” She added as the doctor prepared to break the news to them.

“You were about ten weeks along, but trauma to your abdomen triggered a miscarriage.” The doctor had informed Emily and Spencer what was wrong. After hearing that he squeezed her hand reminding her that he was there for her and was not going anywhere. “Once it starts there’s no stopping it.” She added and mentioned that they would monitor her to make sure there were no complications due to her injuries. The doctor then went over the next steps with her. She then explained the different options for treatment. Emily didn’t want anything invasive due to her traumatic experience when she was a teen. The doctor walked out to give them some privacy and said that she would be back to check on Emily later.

“I guess I’m not meant to be a mother.” Emily gave a bitter laugh. She was now thinking about the child that she aborted when she was fifteen, and now this one that she was losing now. This time she was ready to be a mother.

“Don’t give up hope on it just yet, Em.” He reminded her that this was not her fault. She knew that she still had time left to have a child but was distraught that she lost another chance at being a mother.

“I would have had a twenty-three your old son or daughter had I not gotten an abortion years ago.” She opened up to Reid about her past. “I got pregnant at fifteen, Spense. I was so scared.” She went on about how she couldn’t go to her mother about anything. Her mother was physically and emotionally unavailable, and she really didn’t know too many people since she moved often. Emily also opened up to him about her friend Matthew, and how he helped her through the whole traumatic event. The child wasn’t even his, and his life went downhill because he helped her. Reid remembered that case very well, and now understood why she was so torn over the whole thing.

“Emily, listen to me. You cannot blame yourself for having a miscarriage, Matthew's death, or the choices you had to make in the past that were necessary.” He pleaded with her to not blame herself for things that were out of her control. Emily didn’t respond right away due to the wave of pain that struck her, but she was listening. After the pain subsided, she spoke.

“I’m sorry you had to find out like this.” She apologized yet again. Emily couldn’t hold back the tears anymore, so she just let them fall. She told him how she had negative pregnancy tests when she first had her suspicions. Then she went on about how she bought more not long before she left to find Doyle because she still hadn’t had her period by then. Emily told him that she never got to see the results of those pregnancy test because someone had invaded her home while she was in it. “I wish I could have told you in some cute, creative way.” She sobbed at the thought and braced herself for more painful cramping.

“Emily we are going to get through this together.” Spencer promised as he tried his best to comfort her. He felt bad that there wasn’t more that he could do for her. He hated seeing his Emily hurt like this and wished he could take away her pain. He got closer to her so he could do his best just to be there for her.

“I’m so sorry, Spencer.” She managed to choke out before her eyes closed tightly and her face scrunched up. Emily cried out in agony as the worst pain yet ripped through her lower abdomen. The second she felt it, she knew what this was, what it meant. Reid tightened his grip knowing this as well. She couldn’t see it, but he too was crying. Seeing her curl her body up tight broke his heart.

Even after the worst of the pain subsided, she remained curled up. She didn’t need the doctor to tell her what just happened. She tried to curl up tighter while hiding her face in the sheets as she sobbed. Spencer Reid was at a loss for words. He knew that nothing he could say to her would change the outcome. She still had a tight grip on one of his hands. He wasn’t about to let go of her. He situated himself next to her and put his free arm around her, and just held her as she cried. They stayed like that until the doctor came back hours later.

He tapped Emily gently and let her know that the doctor had returned. She uncurled herself and laid flat so the doctor could do an ultrasound to confirm that everything had passed. Emily was no longer pregnant.

“Agent Prentiss, I don’t see any evidence of complications.” She informed Emily that everything seemed normal. She prescribed Emily with some painkillers to ease the pain from the miscarriage and the injuries from Doyle’s attack. “You should be able to go back to work the next day as well, but please take it easy.” She cautioned Emily knowing what her work involved.

“Is she free to go now?” Reid asked as he looked down at his watch. It had been five and a half hours since they rushed Emily to the back. The doctor was now giving them aftercare instructions.

“Doctor Reid, Agent Prentiss is now free to go.” The doctor replied as she gave them the discharge papers and the prescription to get filled. Emily was thankful that Spencer had grabbed her a comfortable set of clothes to go home in. After she had changed, they made their way out of the hospital. Much to Reid’s surprise, Emily did not fight the wheelchair. Once they were at the SUV, Reid helped an exhausted Emily get in. He got in on the driver’s side and they left for the pharmacy to fill Emily’s prescription and to pick up a few things.


	7. The Trip Home

####  **Chapter 7: The Trip Home**

By the time they left the hospital it was 6am. Reid still had enough time to run to the pharmacy and make it to the motel before they had to check out. He was hoping for their sake that they would get back before anyone had noticed that they were gone. Emily was finally getting some much-needed sleep.

He parked the SUV and went into the drugstore to get Emily’s prescription filled. He left her sleeping in the car while he went in. He was thankful that the pharmacist was willing to expedite the process for him. He explained that they were here for work and had a flight to catch to get back home. Reid only had to kill time for ten minutes.

“The prescription will be ready in about ten minutes.” The pharmacist said as he walked to the back to start his days’ work.

“Thank you so much.” Reid replied happily. He also took the opportunity to get some other items that Emily would need. He walked down isles looking for the feminine care section. One of the employees saw Reid just walking around and offered him assistance. Reid, like many men squirm at the mention of female problems.

“Is there something I can help you find?” The cashier asked. Spencer Reid shook his head vigorously and continued walking away from the woman.

“Just looking, thank you.” He mumbled and blushed as he continued walking away quickly. He would rather not ask about feminine care products. The genius knew about many subjects, but this was one that he did not care to elaborate on at all for any reason. If this were anyone else, he wouldn’t be doing this. Since it was Emily, he was doing this. When he said he would do anything for her, he meant it. Like many men, Spencer wouldn’t be caught dead buying feminine care products, but here he was.

He blushed as he grabbed a box of maxi pads. He wasn’t sure what to get so he grabbed two different types. After that he grabbed a few bars of chocolate, and then he headed to the counter for the prescription. As promised, it didn’t take long to fill. After checking out, he walked out of the drugstore to find Emily still sleeping in the car.

As he drove into the parking lot of the motel, his phone rang. The ring caused Emily to stir and start to wake. He let the call go straight to voicemail when he noticed Emily was waking up. She wasn’t sure where she was.

“Where are we?” She yawned still trying to wake up. He told her that they were back at the motel and that he was going to go grab their stuff and return the room keys.

“We just got back to the motel, Love. I picked up your prescription and a few other things for you.” He told her that she had been asleep for all of that.

“How long until we have to leave for our flight back?” She asked hoping not too much longer. He told her not to worry about her stuff because he was going to go in and pack for both of them. He also offered to bring her back some breakfast if they had some at the motel. While he went in, Emily dozed off again.

“Where the hell have you been?” Morgan asked as Reid walked through the entrance of the motel. That was when he realized that he had a few missed calls. Morgan followed him back to the rooms and he helped him pack quickly so they could grab some food. They met up with the others who were eating a quick breakfast. Hotch noticed Reid was back and approached them.

“We’ve been trying to call you!” Hotch exclaimed as he fixed a plate to go as well. That was when he realized Emily wasn’t there. “Where’s Prentiss?” He asked.

“Crap. I forgot they made me turn it off at the hospital last night.” Reid apologized to his boss who was now worried.

“Hospital? What happened and why didn’t you call.” Hotch was now worried since Emily still hadn’t shown up. Reid managed to calm them all down before they made a scene running out to the parking lot to the vehicles.

“What’s wrong? Is Emily okay?” JJ asked truly worried about her friend. Reid assured them that she was okay and that she was asleep in the SUV. Morgan, Hotch, Rossi, and JJ grabbed their stuff and ran out to the parking lot like he tried to prevent them from doing. They peered into the window on the passenger’s side to see a passed-out Emily Prentiss. She looked like hell. Reid was glad that he brought her sunglasses with them. He knew that she wouldn’t want them to see her like that. At least the sunglasses hid the fact that she had been crying for hours.

“Emily was experiencing abdominal pain when we got back last night. So, I managed to get her to go to the hospital willingly.” Reid explained hoping that that they wouldn’t ask more questions. “Complications from the incident with Doyle.” He added quickly before anyone could say anything.

“Complications? I thought the paramedics said she was fine.” Rossi asked and instantly regretted it.

“The female kind.” Reid blushed as he said that. JJ laughed at the fact that the mention of female problems made these four strong men uncomfortable. Even though it made him uncomfortable, Reid knew it would put an end to everyone’s questions. JJ pat him on the shoulder and laughed.

“She’s okay thought, right?” Hotch asked truly concerned for Emily. She was still asleep when they arrived at the airport. Reid got out and was about to walk around to open the passenger door for her, but he was stopped by Morgan. Morgan was surprised that she was still asleep. 

“What did they give her?” Morgan asked noticing that Emily still hadn’t stirred. Reid had to wake her up to get on the jet. It took her a few seconds to come around.

“Nothing.” Reid answered his question truthfully.

“Prentiss must really be feeling like shit then.” Rossi stated knowing that she would never let anyone see he like that. “The Prentiss we know wouldn’t let anyone see her like this.” He added. Rossi was not wrong. Emily could have broken a bone and would still act like everything was fine. Everyone started loading their stuff up on the jet. Reid waited for everyone to move away before trying to wake her.

“I picked up the prescription that they wrote for you. It’s some painkillers to help ease the pain from the past few days.” Reid explained what Emily had missed while at the hospital. “I also picked up some of these.” He added pointing to the box of maxi pads. She also noticed that he got her some chocolate as well. Emily laughed at the thought of him going into the store and buying feminine products. He was glad that he got her to smile, even if it was for a split second.

“Thank you, Spencer.” She said as she took the bag from him. He grabbed both of their go bags to load onto the jet. Emily ached all over, but she still managed to make her way towards the jet. Everyone looked at her as if she might break if she walked any further. They continued to do so as she was boarding the jet. “If all of you don’t stop, I’m going to give you something to stare at!” She warned them as she struggled to climb the stairs with Reid coming up behind her. They knew she wasn’t joking so they gave her some space and went back to what they were doing.

“Now that’s our Prentiss.” Rossi chuckled earning a glare from Emily. The older man wasn’t wrong though, the snarky comment from Emily showed that she was going to be okay. The Emily that they knew was still with them. She would just need time to heal from being tortured and beaten by Doyle, and unknowingly to them the miscarriage she just had.

Emily went straight to the couch the second she got on the plane. She made herself comfortable or tried to get comfortable despite her injuries. She was about to doze off again when she heard someone approaching her. To her relief it was just Reid. He grabbed a bottle of water for Emily and one for himself. As he handed it to her, he didn’t have to say anything, she immediately dug into the bag and grabbed the bottle of prescribed painkillers.

As she was trying to get into a comfortable position, Spencer opened the overhead compartment and grabbed a blanket. He covered her up with it and was about to go sit in the spot closest to her to read his book. She put her hand up to try and get his attention before he sat down. She couldn’t thank him enough for all that he had done for her.

“Spense?” He turned around and looked at her. “Thank you for everything.” She spoke.

“Anytime, Em.” He replied as he ran his fingers through her hair. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the moment. It wasn’t the pain from her injuries that bothered her, that she could deal with. Emily had returned from cases covered in bruises and bandages many times. It was the heart-wrenching pain of the loss that really hurt her. 

She gave him a tired half smile as he went to find a seat close by. Once she was sure that everyone was settled, she took off the sunglasses and put them on the nearby table. She curled up on the couch making sure her face was buried in the blanket. Reid occasionally looked up from his book to check on her. The sight before him broke his heart. He noticed that she kept her arm protectively around her abdomen as if she were protecting their child that was no longer with them. He too was crying. After a while he took her lead and eventually fell asleep with his book still in his hands and started having a dream about what could have been.


	8. Grieving Takes Time

####  **Chapter 8: Grieving Takes Time**

After they made it back from Boston, Hotch informed them that they had to take six weeks off. Due to the nature of the case, the whole team had to take six weeks off. Some members were disappointed about this, while others saw it as an opportunity. It didn’t sit right that Emily’s attacker was still out there, but they were never actually removed from the Doyle case. Reid thought that this break would be the best thing for Emily, and also himself.

He followed her back to her place after they left the office that afternoon. Spencer refused to let her be alone during this time, especially now. For that, Emily was thankful. She felt bad it because she thought she was bothering him. She was about to ask him, but he spoke first.

“I’m not letting you go through this alone, Emily.” Reid said as he carried their stuff into her home. She gave him a weak smile as she closed the door behind them. They were now in a safe place away from everyone. “Let me take care of you.” He added as she pulled him close and broke down again. She was always the one looking out for him when he was in need, now it was his turn to do so for her.

“I’m so sorry, Spense.” She apologized for breaking down again. He stopped her before she could say more. He assured her that she had nothing to be sorry for, and that it was okay to grieve.

“Emily, it’s okay.” He tried to comfort her.

“It’s my fault.” Emily managed to choke out in between sobs. He couldn’t believe that she was blaming herself for this. He shook his head in protest. “Spense, I can understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore.” She sobbed.

“Emily none of this is your fault. You cannot blame yourself for what happened.” He pleaded with her. Spencer made a mental note to be the one to kill Doyle of the opportunity arose. “Emily Prentiss, I love you. I’m staying by your side for the good, the bad, and everything in between.” He vowed that he would stay no matter what life threw at them. When Spencer Reid loved someone, he meant every word.

“I love you too.” She whispered with her face still buried in the crook of his neck. After she loosened her grip on him, she made her way to her bedroom. Spencer took the opportunity to run her a hot bath. He thought that it would help her relax some.

“I ran you a hot bath.” He said as he came back into her bedroom to find her lying on the bed curled up. She opened her eyes and nodded as she got up and went into the bathroom.

Tears started to fall again as she undressed. The clover shaped scar above her left breast left a painful reminder of the previous two days. She smiled when she walked closer to the bathtub and smelled the lavender oil that Spencer added to the bath. He knew her well, she loved it. She got in and tried to relax as much as she could. The hot water relaxed her sore body, and the lavender put her mind at ease. Emily stayed in the bath until the water started to get cold.

While she was in the bath, Reid went through her kitchen. He was shocked to find enough ingredients to make some chicken noodle soup for her. Just as he finished cooking the soup, he saw her come into the kitchen in her silk robe.

“Thank you, Spense. I really needed that.” She spoke as she sat down on one of the bar stools at the breakfast bar. He nodded and motioned towards the soup that he made.

“I made you some chicken noodle soup.” He said as he placed a bowl in front of her. He knew she must have been starving since she hadn’t eaten anything all day. He noticed that she had pushed the breakfast around on her plate on the flight earlier in the morning.

“This is really good.” She answered after swallowing a few spoons full of the soup. He made himself a bowl and sat down beside her. He was glad to see her finally eat something today. Emily had finished her bowl rather quickly. He offered to get her some more which she gladly accepted. After they finished eating, Reid took care of the dishes.

While finishing up the dishes he saw that she was sitting on the couch. The TV was on, but she wasn’t really watching what was on. She was just staring at the screen. Emily had a lot on her mind but wanted to make it seem like she was watching TV.

“Is there something you want to watch?” Spencer asked knowing that she wasn’t actually watching what was on the television.

“You can put it on whatever you want.” She replied as she made room for him to sit next to her. Reid flipped through the channels until he found something he thought she would like as well. He knew she liked Syfy just as much as he did. He thought that might help some, but what he didn’t think about were the commercials. Their show was interrupted by the usual commercials. Unfortunately, the one that came on was one promoting diapers. The image of the mother holding her newborn really upset Emily. 

The second the image of the mother with the newborn flashed on the screen, Emily excused herself and went upstairs. It was a painful reminder that she and Spencer wouldn’t be welcoming a son or daughter at the end of September or early October. Spencer got up from the couch and went upstairs to find her sitting on her bed looking out the window and sobbing. She ran upstairs because she wanted to spare him the pain.

“Em?” He tried to get her attention. When she didn’t respond, he just sat on the bed next to her. Spencer held her in his arms as she sobbed, this time he was as well. Her pulling him closer let him know that just him being there for her meant everything to her. She was about to say something when she noticed that part of his shirt was soaked with her tears, but he stopped her before she could do so. “You don’t have to apologize for grieving, let yourself feel every emotion that comes your way. I will be right here with you. Be kind to yourself, Emily.” He reminded her that she had nothing to be sorry for.

After a few minutes had passed he pulled back the covers for them to get some much-needed sleep. Emily stared off into space a little while before falling asleep. She was exhausted. Spencer, on the other hand, was having a hard time falling asleep. He was thinking of all the ways that he could have protected her. He felt like he should have tried to reach out to her more when she pushed everyone away. He thought that maybe that would have prevented her from leaving off on her own, but he didn’t want to push her. He was disrupted from his thoughts when he felt movement and heard her talking in her sleep. She was having a nightmare.

“No, please don’t….” She mumbled as she tossed and turned. Spencer didn’t even want to think about the horrors that she was reliving.

“Emily, I’m right here.” He rolled over and put an arm around her protecting her from whatever bad thoughts were running through her mind. After a few seconds she stopped moving around and mumbling pleas. Spencer stayed awake holding her close until he knew she was asleep. Once he knew she was asleep, he too gave in and fell asleep himself. 

**The Next Morning ******

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********

Emily woke up to find that she was the only one in bed. She knew that Spencer had gone to bed with her the previous night. The smell coming from downstairs let her know where Reid was. She got out of bed and went down to the kitchen not even bothering to put on her robe. Spencer looked up when he saw her coming down the stairs. He smiled when he saw that she was still in her sleepwear.

“Good morning, beautiful.” He said as he placed a plate full of breakfast in front of her. He looked at the loose-fitting t-shirt she was wearing and realized that it was his. 

“Morning, Spense.” She answered him before she started eating her breakfast. This made him genuinely happy. He fixed his plate and sat down next to her. He was still staring at her shirt.

“What?” She asked him in between bites. At first she thought that he was uncomfortable, but that was not the case at all.

“Is that my shirt?” He chuckled already knowing the answer. She looked at him with a smile.

“Maybe.” She laughed as they continued eating their breakfast. This was the first time he heard Emily Prentiss genuinely laugh in weeks. The Emily that he knew and loved was making a comeback. He knew she was going to get through this, they were going to get through this. He was also aware that it could take her awhile to completely heal from this traumatizing even in her life. He was going to stay by her side through all of it.


	9. Back to Work

####  **Chapter 9: Back to Work**

The six week break that the team was required to take had come to an end. Everyone was looking forward to returning, even Prentiss and Reid. For Emily that also meant no more required counseling sessions. She only agreed because it was required for her to return to work. She did however go to someone else outside of work which really did help her, and still had a few sessions with this therapist. 

Things were now starting to go back to how they were before the incident. As normal as possible that is, even though a month had passed, Spencer often found her staring at nothing. Sometimes he noticed that she had been crying. Emily Prentiss had always been a reserved person, but she became even more so after all of this.

She and Reid rode together to work today. Emily was glad to be returning to work, but she was also nervous. Spencer had sensed this and squeezed her hand to assure her that it was going to be okay. Only one other person on the team knew about what actually happened, and Emily hoped that it stayed that way.

During their break, Garcia had tried to reach out to Emily, only for her calls and texts not to be returned. Penelope knew that something must have been wrong because Emily would never deliberately ignore her. This had her worried, so she decided to go visit her best friend. She was shocked when it was Reid who answered the door.

Emily ended up walking up behind him when she heard him answer the door. Spencer was about to ask Penelope to come back another day, but Emily answered before he could do so. She knew that they could trust her. Penelope Garcia knew when to keep things shared with her to herself.

Everyone was excited to be back at work. When Spencer and Emily walked in, they were greeted with a warm welcome. Everyone was talking about what they did over their break from work. Rossi had invited everyone over for dinner after work that evening.

“Spencer, Emily!” Garcia called out to them as she saw them walk into the meeting room. She hugged both of her friends tightly. Hotch called everyone to the round table to inform them that they had a case waiting for them.

“I guess dinner is postponed.” Rossi said right after Hotch informed them about the upcoming case.

“Sorry guys.” Hotch apologized knowing that they were looking forward to dinner. He let them know that they would want to solve this case. He informed them that Ian Doyle had surfaced, and that Declan was missing. Just his name being mentioned made Emily cringe. 

“He won’t touch you, Emily. Over my dead body.” Reid whispered so that only she could hear him. She relaxed some because she knew that he meant it. She was still scared for Declan, the boy that she fought so hard to keep safe. Emily hurried up and composed herself before anyone would say anything to her. 

“Wheels up in thirty.” Hotch stated as he left the round table to go back to his office. Morgan and JJ went to get their go bags. Garcia decided to take advantage of the fact that it was just Emily, Spencer and herself. She knew that she wouldn’t be accompanying them on this case, so she reached out to them before they left. 

“Don’t hesitate to ask if you need anything.” Penelope said as she pulled her best friend into another much-needed tight hug. Tears started to roll down Emily’s cheeks. “I’m only a text or a phone call away.” She reminded Emily. She also told Spencer the same thing.

“Thank you, Penelope.” Prentiss replied as she dried her eyes before heading out of the meeting room. She tried her best not to smudge her make up that she had put on earlier. She then just ran off without saying anything else which alarmed the other two.

Before heading out, Emily ran to the restroom. She suddenly felt sick to her stomach. She didn’t know if it was the thought of having to face Doyle again, or if it was the dinner that she and Spencer had eaten yesterday that didn’t agree with her. She hurried out so they wouldn’t come looking for her.

Everyone else had started making their way to the jet. Reid had stayed behind to wait for Emily. While waiting for her, he and Garcia were catching up. Emily eventually came out and was met with worried looks from her lover and best friend. She assured both of them that she was fine before either of them could say anything.

“Let’s get going before Hotch comes looking for us or calls.” Reid motioned for her to follow him out. When they boarded the jet, they got odd looks from their friends. The two of them pretended not to notice and took their seats at the table to play cards or chess.

“Chess or cards today, Dr. Reid.” Emily asked earning a look from Spencer. They realized that they were now being watched by others. Both of them seemed to have forgotten that some of their co-workers were entertained by their games.

“Cards okay with you?” Reid asked as he took out the deck of cards and began shuffling them. Emily opened the jar of pretzels. She got a few weird looks when she started snacking on them instead of putting them out for their game and responded quickly.

“What!?” She said looking at the others. “I’m hungry.” She added as she at another pretzel before placing them on the table. What no one else knew was that was all she could keep down at the moment.

Reid started off strong but started losing after a few rounds. Emily may have been winning at cards, but she was about to lose to another bout of nausea. She got up from the table mid round and bolted for the restroom. When she returned to the table, she was greeted with worried looks from those around her.

“Are you okay, Emily?” JJ asked causing Reid to sigh in relief. As much as he loved Morgan like a brother, he didn’t want him unknowingly saying something insensitive to Emily in fear of it triggering her. Even thought things seemed to go back to normal, he sometimes saw her crying when seeing and hearing things that reminded her of the traumatic event.

“I’m fine.” She stated hoping everyone would leave it at that. “Whatever I had last night hasn’t been agreeing with me.” She added hoping this was actually the cause. Spencer gave her an apologetic look since he was the one that suggested the restaurant the previous night. They continued their game until Hotch walked over and sat down with them to go over more details on the case. Emily cringed at the thought of having to hear and talk to Doyle again.

Hotch asked her if she would be okay doing so before making the plan. As much as she didn’t want to, she knew it had to be done to solve the case once and for all. She figured Doyle must have known that she may have been pregnant at the time of the attack. Why else would he have attacked her the way that he did. Even though she would never forget what he did to her, she wanted to put this case behind her for good and move on with her life.

Since this destination was closer to home the flight was shorter. Just as Hotch finished going over the case the jet was landing. After getting off of the jet they went straight to the Baltimore police station. Once they settled in, they got to work immediately. Reid was the one who figured out that it actually wasn’t Doyle who kidnapped Declan.

“Who better to ask than Doyle.” Hotch suggested as Morgan and Rossi came back from investigating the house where Declan was taken from. They informed the others that the nanny who took care of him was shot and killed as well as the police details who were on shift watching the house at the time.

“Let’s go find the bastard and bring him in for questioning.” Morgan stated after hearing that Doyle may not actually be the unsub in this case. Hotch spoke up before they could say or do anything else.

“No need to, He’s already here and in custody.” Hotch informed them. This caused Emily’s heart to sink because the man responsible for her despair was only a few feet away from her. Even if he was handcuffed and locked in a room, the thought of him still sent chills down her spine.

“I’ll do it.” Emily said hoping that her tone and expression didn’t betray her. She got up from the chair she was sitting in and made her way towards the interrogation room where they were holding Doyle.

“Are you sure?” Hotch asked giving her a choice to back out if she didn’t want to see her attacker face to face. She assured him that she would be fine. Since there were enough of them working on putting the pieces together, Reid snuck away to watch the interrogation with Hotch.

The unit chief didn’t bother send him back either. He figured he’d send Reid in if the interrogation started going bad or was too much for Emily. He also knew that they were together, actually the whole team knew because of what happened at Ross’s New Year’s Eve party. Hotch didn’t see an issue with them being together. Prentiss and Reid cared for each other very much, but they were professional when out in the field. So, it wasn’t like their relationship got in the way of their job performance. If Strauss found out and for some reason tried to break up his team, Hotch had ammo to keep her quiet.

“I’ve got this.” Prentiss replied as she went into question Doyle. Neither of them tried to stop her knowing it would be pointless to try. Ian Doyle sneered when he saw Emily come through the door. She started questioning him the second she sat down. “Who hates you enough to take your son?” She asked before he had the chance to say anything about their last encounter. He gave her a bitter laugh and spoke his mind.

“Well hello to you too.” He laughed as he went on. Emily was not amused. “To answer your question, I would say you since you already took him once.” He spat back at her. It was taking everything in her not to lash out on him for what he did to her. She also reminded him that if she hadn’t faked Declan’s death and hidden him, he would have been killed anyways.

“Now isn’t the time, Doyle.” She warned him that not cooperating won’t help them find his son. The longer it took them to identify who took Declan the more danger he was in.

“Fine…” He mumbled a few other things as she asked him another question.

“We know his mother is still alive.” Prentiss stated as she placed some pictures down on the table. She informed him that there was a woman involved in the kidnapping. “Which one is she and what did you do to piss her off?” Emily asked dreading the answer to the second half of that question. He looked through all of the photos that Emily had placed on the table and nodded remembering encounters with all of those women.

“I’ve slept with all of them.” He admitted as he looked carefully through the photos again. He pulls one picture out of the stack and places it to the side. “Chloe Donaghy is the one, but I wouldn’t call her a mother. She tried to kill Declan before he had the chance to live.” He explained as he flicked the photo in Emily’s direction.

“What did you do to her?” Emily asked and instantly regretted doing so. “After I caught her trying to end the pregnancy by attempting to kill herself, I chained her to a bed for seven months. After Declan was born, I paid her off and hadn’t seen her since then” He explained. After hearing that Emily thought she was going to be sick again. Even though Chloe Donaghy was a criminal, Emily felt sorry for her. No wonder she hated Doyle. Emily realized that could have possibly been her fate too had she not gotten out when she did.

“I don’t blame her for hating you.” Emily replied trying to get through the rest of the interrogation.

“You know, you would have been a great mother.” He admitted. He looked at her with a sinister smile on his face. She knew what he was implying. “It’s too bad you didn’t get the chance to.” He gave another bitter laugh as he tried to read her expression. Emily was fighting back tears. He just confirmed what had been plaguing her mind since the incident. He knew that she was pregnant somehow. That was why he let her live and what he meant when he told her he was going to take something that meant everything to her. She got up and left. 

“This interrogation is over.” She informed them as she tried to run off before anyone saw her break down. Reid was disgusted at what Doyle had admitted. He went straight to the interrogation room without saying a word to anyone. He was about to go in, but someone stopped him. He turned around and was surprised to see Emily who had run off minutes earlier. She came back knowing that Spencer was going to try and avenge her because of what Doyle admitted.

“He’s not worth it.” She reminded him that what he was about to do would cost him dearly. He gave her a defeated look as he walked away from the door. “Don’t worry where he’s going, he will never see his son again.” She added hoping to stop him from losing control due to clouded judgment. Now they had some explaining to do because Hotch was standing there watching the two of them. He knew that Doyle had struck a nerve when Emily was questioning him. He started putting the pieces together, Reid rushing Prentiss to the hospital the evening she was rescued, Doyle striking a nerve with Emily at the mention of not getting the chance to be a mother, and Spencer Reid almost going into the interrogation room to possibly kill the man. That was when it dawned on him what had occurred, and he felt terrible that it happened at all.

“She’s right you know.” Hotch said giving them a sympathetic look now figuring out what had happened. Reid nodded curtly as he stormed off to cool down. He realized that Reid was hurt by Doyle’s words too. Emily was about to go after Spencer, but Hotch stopped her before she could do so. “Is there something I should know about?” He asked out of concern. Emily shook her head failing to fight back the tears this time. He knew something must have happened when she was tortured by Doyle and she didn’t want to talk about it. He wasn’t going to force her to do so. He let her know that he was there for her if she needed him.

“Like I told Spencer, where he’s going, he will never see his son again. Provided the justice system doesn’t fail us.” She stated trying so hard not to break down crying. Emily wanted justice to be served for all of the lives he had taken. He stopped her before she could run off.

“I can assure you he will not walk.” Hotch reminded her of all the evidence against him, and that was just in the United States. “You know he could be sentenced to life if you pressed charges against him for what he did.” He added. This confirmed that Hotch had figured out what had happened to her. She also knew he wouldn’t say anything either. 

“Only for him to escape again.” Emily countered the unit chief’s comment. He knew that she was terrified of the thought of him being out free. She knew that he meant well, but it seemed like everyone had forgotten that he escaped a prison in North Korea.

“It might not be another life sentence.” He quipped back. Emily knew what he was implying, but that didn’t make her feel much better either. 

Hours later the case came to an end. None of them were prepared for how everything had played out. Emily was the most torn over the whole thing. She did everything that she could to protect Declan Doyle, but he still witnessed the atrocity that occurred right before him. His mother never wanted him, she kidnapped him and used him to lure his father to an old enemy so she could get paid. His father, mother and Lachlan McDermott were shot dead right in front of him. That was exactly what Emily tried so hard to protect him from.

“You saved him, Emily.” Reid said as he sat down in the chair across from her. It was a quiet flight home being that the case ended how it did.

“That poor child is probably scarred for life though.” She admitted trying to hold back the tears. Reid reached for her hand across the table and gave it squeeze letting her know that she did the best that she could. Emily was still feeling nauseous. She attempted to get up to get a bottle of water but didn’t make it far before she fainted.

“Emily!” Spencer got up immediately and was by her side. He kept calling her name until she came around.

“What happened?” Emily asked a minute later as she tried to sit up. Reid told her that she had fainted as she got up from the chair to get water. She looked up to see five pairs of worried eyes looking at her. 

“You fainted.” Reid explained as he handed her a bottle of juice instead of water.

“Have you eaten anything today?” JJ asked as she offered Emily some saltines that she found on the jet. The blonde remembered that her friend had only had pretzels earlier this morning, and now it was almost midnight. Emily shook her head. Reid figured her not eating all day was what caused her to faint. He also talked Hotch out of calling the paramedics, which Emily was thankful for. 

“Everyone took a seat when the pilot came on and said they would be landing shortly. It was just the two of them at the table again. Spencer took advantage of this and asked if she was okay.

“I wasn’t able to keep anything down today.” She admitted. His eyes widened at hearing this. She went the entire day not feeling well and didn’t say anything. He vaguely remembered this morning and the jet, but he didn’t realize she had been miserable all day because she hid it well. 

“You didn’t think to mention that?” He asked out of concern causing her to sigh. She reminded him that she did so this morning when she mentioned the previous night’s dinner not agreeing with her.

“I did.” She replied. He felt bad for not checking on her more.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized. She also admitted that the thought of seeing Doyle again also made her sick to her stomach.

“Seeing that terrible man and hearing his awful confessions made me sick.” She admitted hoping that he wasn’t mad at her. “Please don’t tell anyone that.” She begged him to keep that between the two of them. 

“Of course, love.” He reassured Emily that her secrets were always safe with him. The jet landed and everyone got up from their seats and exited. Rossi decided that tonight was too late to host dinner.

“Dinner at my place tomorrow?” He asked everyone while they were still in the bull pen. Everyone took Rossi up on the invite as they left for the night.


End file.
